If you like someone… just say it!

One of the many myths of the world of relationships that I have discovered on my secret agent missions of late is just how much we think holding our cards close to our chests is a wise move when we meet someone new!

People spend a lot of time trying to be what they think the other person wants them to be, being cool and not saying anything that will give away the awful truth that they are actually interested! We all seem to enjoy the "I don’t need anyone” game. It’s actually this “pretending” that can get quite stressful and create awkwardness in the beginning of relationships. It’s keeping the “I’m not interested” ball in the air that is taking all the effort.

But here's the thing... less than 7% of communication is verbal. Consider that whatever it is you're avoiding saying the other person knows about you already! So there you are putting all your time into avoiding showing how you feel and they know anyway by picking up signals through your body language and tone of voice that you are not even consciously aware of. You could say you’re completely transparent!

So what to do instead?

What is more attractive and endearing is actually being congruent in your communication and say it like it is. It might feel scary and often we become concerned that if we do this "they will think I am desperate!" or "what if they don't like me as much as I like them?" This is only natural as we are often trying to protect ourselves with these thoughts. What actually happens when you communicate what is going on in your head is that you clear out your head space and can be more of your fabulous attractive self as you are not using all your effort on pretending anymore! You might find that once you come clean you are actually less het up about the other person than you thought you were!

We often assume that confident people are not keen at the beginning of a relationship. This is a paradox as in reality truly confident people are not afraid to say when they like someone as they know that if the affection is not reciprocated it’s better to know and it doesn’t mean anything about them. A case of “it’s their loss” and move on.

The Big L advises you to do this with style! Flirt as you say mischievously “Oh I haven’t met someone who I have been as interested in, as I am with you, in ages”. If they run a mile they’re not ready or good enough for you and you can smile to yourself as you move onto the next person having spread a little love and helped the world go round!